PROJECT RACHEL TESTIMONY
By Jennifer C.
I carried a heavy burden on my heart for almost 10 years. No one tells you the shame, guilt, and self hatred you will feel after having an abortion. No one tells you how you’ll feel like you’re keeping a horrible secret from the world. Most of all the inability to forgive yourself for the choice that you have made is devastating. I never knew just how bad those decisions would hurt.
During my 20’s I had 2 abortions. The time wasn’t right, the boyfriend wasn’t quite right, the circumstances weren’t right, nothing was right to bring a baby into this world. Or so I thought. It was legal, my friends supported me, and I truly thought that I would get the abortion and go right back to my life.
Every year the date would come around on the day I had my abortion and I would weep with such sorrow. Not to mention the day the baby would have been born, I constantly would figure out how old they would be by now, and compare them to other babies or children I would see. What color hair and eyes would they had? What kind of personality? What would their laugh sound like? All of these questions would cause deeply hurt emotions. What right did I have to not give an innocent unborn life a chance?
After I got married and had children of my own, the guilt grew stronger. How could God give me a healthy baby after what I had done? You would think the hurt would go away instead it just grew stronger. The shame consumed me and the un-forgiveness I felt toward myself was unbearable.
That is about the time I found Rachel’s Vineyard. It saved my life. Rachel’s Vineyard gave me the opportunity to grieve for my lost children. It gave me the chance to share my story, to tell my innocent unborn babies how sorry I was that I chose not to keep them, and most importantly it gave me the ability to forgive myself. The relationship that surfaces with our Lord when you put such hurting individuals together is so profound. You’re with others who harbor the same feelings as you and want to find forgiveness. The love and support given to you at these retreats is remarkable. I thank God everyday that I found Rachel’s Vineyard. It was an absolute necessity for me and my healing. I would encourage men and women who suffer from this devastating secret to surrender and attend Rachel’s Vineyard Retreats. Give yourself the chance to grieve for your unborn child and seek God’s help to face the pain. It changed my life.
At our pregnancy help center, we offer free and confidential services, consultations and resources.
How To Contact Us (Confidential and Caring)
Project Rachel Email
Rachel’s Vineyard Weekend Retreats at Bethany Center in Lutz – for details and registration contact Emma, 813-924-4173 or Project Rachel Email
For Spanish Speakers contact Rosa, 813-500-9785 or El Vinedo de Raquel Email. Curando el dolor producido por el aborto-fin de semana tras fin de semana.
www.rachelsvineyard.org for other locations and dates.
Beyond Regret (Healing the Abortion Wounded) 8 week Support Groups available in Fall and Spring at any of the Alliance of Pregnancy Centers for the Diocese of St. Petersburg, and several parishes. Spanish program is at Incarnation. More details and registration call 813-924-4173.
Raphael’s Way – Mercy and Evangelization through Project Rachel “One Day” Retreat
was held on Tuesday, Feb. 28, 2017 from 9am – 6p.m. at Franciscan Center Sabbath House
- New program added for 2017
- Contact 813-924-4173 for information regarding future event details and registration